Dating nightmares…pt.5

Yes, another one of these. I always say to myself that I should really stop posting these type of blogs but the morons just keep on coming. So, can you blame me?

1. Face down, ass up that’s the way we like to fu…skin people


What still amazes me to this day is how people think this type of shit works? GROSS.

2. What an introduction


No I don’t Callum I’m sorry. Also, don’t do drugs kids.

3. That’s not how I eat cake…


A few points for you Luke:

  1. You’re nasty AF.
  2. It’s gateau, not gatto you fucktard.
  3. That has to be the ugliest word for ass ever?
  4. No way would I let you near my bum.


4. I don’t even know…


I’m sorry Lewis but what the FUCK are you wearing? Some weird purple turtleneck, which you’ve cut the arms off of? AND why is your fridge open?



Down For Search Engine Optimisation Lessons… Now I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t go on Tinder to find a teacher? Honestly smh. What are people like.

6. Is that a wig?


Well thank GOD you are gay. Holy Moly.



I can’t say I would…

8. Is that too much to ask?


With an attitude and face like yours Grant, yes it is too much to ask.

9. If you asked me what a peadophile or murder looks like this guy would be it


I’d rather not go to Canada incase you’re another Fritzl, but thanks Mike I think I’ll pass.

10. Shaking God 33


A guy has NEVER made my ‘legs shake’ so I highly doubt you would mate. People may think I’m an idiot for not persuing this guys offer but it’s extremely creepy to say that to someone. And I’d definitely end up on the news if I did.

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